A Dad’s Point-of-View: I Hate When I Do That

By Bruce Sallan
A Dad’s Point-of-View: I Hate When I Do That

Isn’t that one of the things we often say to ourselves, “I Hate When I Do That”? As a general rule, I dislike using the word “hate” as casually as it is generally used. I prefer to reserve “hate” for someone or something more serious; for instance, I hate the guy who shot all those innocent people in Arizona (his name should ever be forgotten). But, as the use of this phrase is so ubiquitous, I will make an exception and take this literary license this time and use the word “hate.”

 

Following is my list, my personal “I Hate When I Do Thats,” with special focus on parenting issues and marriage (men and women). I’ve also included a few of my family’s “I Hate Whens.” Feel free to e-mail me yours, which I may include in a future column (bruce@brucesallan.com).

In no particular order:

 

1. I hate when - I forget where I left my keys, my wallet, my laptop (almost lost it at a restaurant the other day when I walked out without it), my kids, and my wife.

 

2. I hate when - I forget people’s names that I really do know, especially when I mix up my boy’s names or inadvertently call my wife by my ex-wife’s name (they rhyme and are one letter different but, thankfully, now I occasionally refer to my “ex” by my current wife’s name -- that’s improvement).

 

3. I hate when - my wife says her feelings are hurt. Note: obviously, I care that her feelings are hurt. The part that troubles me is the frequency with which she uses that phrase when the incident may be as small as leaving something on the counter when she wanted it put awa

 

4. I hate when - my older son is moody, which is nearly all the time, but worse in the mornings. That sullen face, those monosyllabic responses. Ugh.

 

5. I hate when - my younger son automatically contradicts or takes the opposite view on whatever I say. I say “Black,” he says “White.” I say, “What a nice day,” he says, “I wish it would rain.”

6. My wife says that she hates when she says “Yes” to something when she really means, “No.” Hmmm, is she trying to tell me something?

 

7. I hate when - I say I’m going to eat “good” today, the next day, or tonight, and end up giving in to those cookies, pizza, French fries, margaritas, chips, etc. The momentary satisfaction is completely gone the next day when I feel horrible or, worse, have a headache.

 

8. My wife says that she hates when she doesn’t have time to do the things she likes, when the kids don’t listen to her, when they whine, when her  husband argues with her, and when people take her for granted. Wait a minute, why am I putting those things in MY column?

 

9. My younger son says he hates it when he has to wake up for school in the morning, at 6:30 a.m. and he hates it when his dumb science teacher gives him too much homework.

 

10. My younger son also says he hates it when his dad is the most horribly annoying person in the “whole entire world. Literally.” And, he hates when his dad thinks he’s so hip and cool when he’s really not. Those are definitely his words, not mine.

 

After putting together all these “I Hate” things, I realize that I can’t finish a column on such a negative tone, so I have to do another list of those things that I love:

 

~~ I love it when my dogs greet me at the door.

 

~~ I love it when we have our family dinners most every Friday.

 

~~ I love it when my wife, kids, and I are all healthy and thank God every day when we are. Without our health, we have nothing.

~~ I love it when my younger son and I go out with my “friend,” that I mentor, and my son sees the value of giving back to the world, and does so with such an open heart.

 

~~ I love it when I do my radio show. It’s a “high” like no other and I love the feedback I get and the value I hope I’m passing on to my listeners. The same thing applies to my columns and I love it when readers write to me and share their stories and acknowledge that my writing touched them.

 

~~ I love it when I learn a new tech thing that frustrates me, or that I’ve been scared about, only to find out it was “no big deal.”

 

~~ I love it when I come up with an interesting new idea for a column. I also am so grateful that the ideas keep flowing.

 

~~ I love it when my wife bakes a pie and the incredible aroma fills up the entire home.

 

On that decidedly un-dietetic note, I bid you adieu and, again, invite you to share your “Loves” and “Hates” with me at bruce@brucesallan.com.

 

Please listen to “The Bruce Sallan Show - A Dad’s Point-of-View” Thursdays at 11:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m., PST on KZSB AM1290 in Santa Barbara, on Sundays at 7:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. on NewsTalk 1420 WHK in Cleveland, Ohio, or on the Internet via a live stream. For that link and all information about the show and Bruce, visit his web-site: http://www.brucesallan.com. Bruce created and launched a website for those who would like Tech help, called BoomerTechTalk (http://www.BoomerTechTalk.com). Bruce’s column, “A Dad’s Point-of-View,” is available in over 100 newspapers and web-sites worldwide. Find Bruce on Facebook by joining his “A Dad’s Point-of-View” page: http://www.facebook.com/aDadsPointOfView. You can also follow Bruce at Twitter: http://twitter.com/BruceSallan.

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