GATORCHOPPIN ON... Living In the age of "Socially Accepted Addiction"

Updated 1 year ago by David Williams, HNN Freelance Correspondent

 We are truly living in a new world. Society is changing everyday. For argument's sake, we are going to establish that addiction is a disease. This is not a column stating if it is or why....this is about the ramifications of "Socially Accepted Addiction"(SAA).

1. THOU SHALL NOT SLEEP IN YOUR CAR If you fall asleep in a parking lot you will possibly be narcanned. Narcan will not hurt you but it may be extremely embarrassing if you fall asleep in Kroger's parking lot while your spouse is shopping and Little Johnny's Little League coach or teacher pulls up and sees you in surrounded by EMS.

2. THOU SHALL NOT WAIT IN PARKED CARS If you are picking up a friend for work or a child from a friend's house...make darn sure they are ready to come out when you get there, if you are there for longer than a few minutes you may be subjected to having your picture taken and posted on social media as a potential drug buyer.

3. THOU SHALL NOT HAVE COMPANY It is not Socially acceptable to be popular anymore. Tell your Aunt Irma or your college buddies if they want to see you to hit you up on Facebook. Excessive company is drug traffic. Gladys Crabitz ( The nosey neighbors from Bewitched) will report you to the drug tip line.

4. THOU SHALL SHOOT UP BUT NOT DRINK It is okay to pass out at McDonald's in the restroom or on the corner of 4th and 9th as long as you are under the influence of drugs not alcohol. High is socially acceptable...drunk is not. Needles okay...cans or bottles prohibited.

So these are just a few of the new guidelines for Socially Acceptable ADdiction not to be confused with any type of political correction, discrimination, or stereotyping.

Except if you have excessive tattoos.... especially neck tattoos. If you have a neck tattoo or a friend with one. You are obviously dealing in the trafficking of drugs. All right....I hope this gets you ready to go out and about in the new world.

Comments powered by Disqus