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EDITORIAL: Envisioning the Last, Great Raese-Manchin Debate
Cecilia Mason: "Gentlemen, you may now ask each other a question. Mr. Manchin?"
Manchin: "John, we've known each other for years. Why did you have to run against me?"
Raese: "Well, it's nothing personal, Joe. I just think you sold your butt out to Obama."
Manchin: "CECILIA! How can you let him say that about me? The gall..."
Mason: "Well, Senator Manchin, it's a fair question. Have you sold your butt out to Obama?"
Manchin: (gasping, reaching for glass of water)
Mason: "Mr. Manchin? Your answer, please?"
Manchin: "Of course I haven't! Just because I voted to fund Obamacare, voted for several stimulus bills the President put forward, and continue to support him while he guts our coal industry doesn't prove anything. The Manchins have a long and storied career in West Virginia politics!"
Raese: (arches eyebrow provocatively)
Mason: "Your turn to go first in this next round, Mr. Raese."
Raese: (clearing throat) "Uh yes, Joe. You made a lot of hay out of me owning a second home last time around, as if that was some kind of crime. Where did you get your money for that yacht of yours? And how about that expensive new Georgetown townhouse we keep hearing about? State goverment work must be paying better than I knew...."
Manchin: "CECELIA! I insist that you declare John's references to my finances as beyond the scope of this debate! A man is free to buy a $600,000 yacht in America even if he always claims to be a man of the people, can't he? Well, I paid for it the way I always pay for everything--with my own hard-earned money!"
Raese: (getting out a large sheaf of paper, putting on his reading glasses) "Let's see now, Joe, did you pay for some of these with your "hard-earned money"? $28,000 worth of flatscreen TVs at the Governor's Mansion, a new spa there, as well, hmmm...living large on the taxpayers' dime. Are you a rich boy wannabe, Joe, is that what this is all about?
"I would have let you take a ride in my Escalade a long time ago if it would have saved the West Virginia taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars for tacky Governor's Mansion repairs and an unnecessary $2 million new state airplane."
Manchin: "CECILIA! Really now, this psychobabble has to stop! Am I resting on a couch here, Dr. Freud? I mean, COME ON!"
Raese: (stifling a smile) "Hey, Joe, is it true you use a Flowbee?"