COLUMN/OPINION: Age Attributed to Toys of Youth

Updated 6 years ago by David "Alligator" Williams
I ran into Santa Claus at the mall last night. I know it was the real Santa because he recognized me. Quite frankly, he had too much intel not to be the real Santa.

"Hoho lil' Davy", Santa boomed, "You've gotten quite old."

"Well, Santa, if I'm old, what about you?" I countered.

"Well, Santa never ages. If you don't think you are old, take a look at these toys I brought you when you were young.".

Santa pulled out a tablet and a commercial magically appeared.

"Rock'em Sock'em Robots," I laughed "I remember that. I never ever did play with that much. It took two people and my older brothers wouldn't play. But that don't make me feel old. You can go over to Toys R Us and buy a retro version or something like it."

Without blinking Santa made another appear. "Really, Santa, Stretch Armstrong, he's still part of pop culture. - hear people talking about him all of the time. Nice try, but I bet I could jog around that mall several times".

He pushed another button and Super Toe appearred.

"I remember kicking field goals in my basement. I am getting a little gray but because we had real toys and not just computer games doesn't mean I'm old."

Then Santa pushed a button and the Evel Knievel toy I begged Santa for decades ago appeared.

I conceded slightly, "Well, I guess that was a while back, I lived in Cumberland then. Hmmm I'm not a spring chicken but I'm not that old".

"Well, maybe you are right, David. Maybe toys haven't changed much since you were a kid. After I brought you your first video game".

There was a twinkle in his eye as Png appeared.

I turned pale as I thought about how video games changed since I was young. I bid Santa goodbye and headed to my car. Suddenly I felt weak as I stumbled to my car. I suddenly felt like I aged overnight. Hmmm maybe I am old after all.
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