Nov. 26, 2009
The Mindful Family: Achieving Wise Mind
By Charlton Hall, MMFT, LMFT-I
In my practice of family therapy, I often integrate Mindfulness skills. Mindfulness is a meditative technique that originated centuries ago with Buddhist monks, but it is also much more. The goal of Mindfulness is to achieve what is known as 'Wise Mind.'
Wise Mind is considered to be a perfect harmony between Emotional Mind and Rational Mind. Why achieve Wise Mind? Because that's where the humanity is. If you stayed totally in Rational Mind, like Mr. Spock from Star Trek, you'd make all of your decisions purely based on logic. For example, imagine a single mother steals a loaf of bread to feed her hungry children. Rational Mind would say that 'the law is the law.' According to Rational Mind, this mother should go to jail because she broke the law, period. No consideration is given to the fact that she was trying to care for her children when she did so.
Emotional Mind, on the other hand, would be totally driven by the whims of feeling from moment to moment. Suppose someone cuts in front of you at the supermarket. This makes you angry. Your Emotional Mind may want to punch that person in the back of the head. Without your Rational Mind keeping check on your Emotional Mind, there is no reason not to go ahead and punch that person.
Rational Mind is what makes us think of the consequences of acting on what Emotional Mind tells us we'd like to do.
Obviously, either extreme of Emotional Mind or Rational Mind can lead us to consequences we might not want to experience. The alternative is Wise Mind...which is compassion tempered by reason, or logic tempered by humanity.
How do you achieve Wise Mind through Mindfulness?
Picture your thoughts and emotions as a stream. This stream is flowing in your mind. The stream will always flow. Sometimes that stream is crystal clear and filled with happy feelings and positive thoughts, but sometimes that stream gets clouded when negative thoughts and feelings get stirred up. These negative thoughts and feelings ‘muddy the water’ of our minds, making it difficult to focus on the positive. When the stream of our minds becomes muddied with negativity, we have a choice to make. We can swim in it, bathing in our negative thoughts and feelings, or we can climb out of the stream and go sit on the riverbank, watching the water flow by.
When we can sit on the riverbank, watching our thoughts and feelings flow past, then we have the freedom to choose which ones we want to ‘swim in,’ and which ones to let float away downstream. When we can achieve this skill, we have reached Wise Mind.
Charlton Hall is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Intern in private practice at the Family Therapy Teaching Clinic in Boiling Springs, South Carolina. You may contact him at: info@forestmoonfamilytherapy.com or visit his website at: www.forestmoonfamilytherapy.com.
Share This Story:
Make HNN Your Homepage (IE Users Only)
The Mindful Family: Achieving Wise Mind
By Charlton Hall, MMFT, LMFT-I
In my practice of family therapy, I often integrate Mindfulness skills. Mindfulness is a meditative technique that originated centuries ago with Buddhist monks, but it is also much more. The goal of Mindfulness is to achieve what is known as 'Wise Mind.'
Wise Mind is considered to be a perfect harmony between Emotional Mind and Rational Mind. Why achieve Wise Mind? Because that's where the humanity is. If you stayed totally in Rational Mind, like Mr. Spock from Star Trek, you'd make all of your decisions purely based on logic. For example, imagine a single mother steals a loaf of bread to feed her hungry children. Rational Mind would say that 'the law is the law.' According to Rational Mind, this mother should go to jail because she broke the law, period. No consideration is given to the fact that she was trying to care for her children when she did so.
Emotional Mind, on the other hand, would be totally driven by the whims of feeling from moment to moment. Suppose someone cuts in front of you at the supermarket. This makes you angry. Your Emotional Mind may want to punch that person in the back of the head. Without your Rational Mind keeping check on your Emotional Mind, there is no reason not to go ahead and punch that person.
Rational Mind is what makes us think of the consequences of acting on what Emotional Mind tells us we'd like to do.
Obviously, either extreme of Emotional Mind or Rational Mind can lead us to consequences we might not want to experience. The alternative is Wise Mind...which is compassion tempered by reason, or logic tempered by humanity.
How do you achieve Wise Mind through Mindfulness?
Picture your thoughts and emotions as a stream. This stream is flowing in your mind. The stream will always flow. Sometimes that stream is crystal clear and filled with happy feelings and positive thoughts, but sometimes that stream gets clouded when negative thoughts and feelings get stirred up. These negative thoughts and feelings ‘muddy the water’ of our minds, making it difficult to focus on the positive. When the stream of our minds becomes muddied with negativity, we have a choice to make. We can swim in it, bathing in our negative thoughts and feelings, or we can climb out of the stream and go sit on the riverbank, watching the water flow by.
When we can sit on the riverbank, watching our thoughts and feelings flow past, then we have the freedom to choose which ones we want to ‘swim in,’ and which ones to let float away downstream. When we can achieve this skill, we have reached Wise Mind.
Charlton Hall is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Intern in private practice at the Family Therapy Teaching Clinic in Boiling Springs, South Carolina. You may contact him at: info@forestmoonfamilytherapy.com or visit his website at: www.forestmoonfamilytherapy.com.
Share This Story:
Make HNN Your Homepage (IE Users Only)
